Posted 1 day ago

I just wanna make you cum, make you breakfast, and make you happy.

(Source: afrodite-xo)

Posted 1 day ago

bidonica:

sorry I had to

Watched for the dragons, stayed for the incest.

Posted 3 days ago

beneathbranches:

How do I say “please pay attention to me, I’m lonely and in a shit mood” without sounding whiney?

Posted 4 days ago

Blah

I miss you.

Posted 4 days ago

factsandchicks:

In 2000 the KKK adopted a stretch of highway near St Louis, the MO government responded by renaming the road the “Rosa Parks Highway.”

source

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE KKK ADOPTED A HIGHWAY
JUST A FEW MILES AWAY FROM MY MOM’S HOUSE
THEY PAID THE MONEY AND THEY PUT UP THE SIGN
I GUESS THEY DRESS IN SHEETS AND THEY PICK UP THE TRASH
THE TRASH, THE TRASH
THEY PICK UP THE TRASH
THE TRASH, THE TRASH
THEY PICK UP THE TRASH
THEY SHOULD KNOW IT WHEN THEY SEE IT
THEY GET A GOOD LOOK EVERY DAY IN THE MIRROR
YEAH THEY GET A GOOD LOOK EVERY DAY IN THE MIRROR

Posted 5 days ago

youaremynirvana:

hoelita:

female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

same

Female sloths’ screams sound like human whistling, so if you want to fuck with a male sloth, you can whistle at it. The male sloths will then snap their heads in the direction of the whistle. You’ll never see a sloth move so quickly.

(Source: babefield)

Posted 5 days ago

OH. MY. GOD.

(Source: ruinedchildhood)

Posted 1 week ago

jackofficers:

liquor before beer youre in the clear

beer before liquor youll be okay dont be a little bitch

(Source: screenspender)

Posted 2 weeks ago

I

remember the time I got my first hickie. Hickey? Whatever. It was pretty damn black on my neck. And my parents noticed it, and they started teasing me about it. And without missing a beat, I told them that I accidentally splashed silver nitrate on myself and had wiped my hands on my neck without knowing the effects. If you’re unfamiliar with silver nitrate, it’s a liquid chemical solution that stains the skin. At first, it just makes your skin look a little bit pale. But when exposed to sunlight, it turns black. My friends and I, not heeding our chem teacher’s warnings, were not careful with this solution, and spilled some on the table. When cleaning up, we didn’t really notice that it had gotten all over the place. One of my hands and one of my arms were pretty much covered up in the black stain. One of my friends had it all over his neck. Like a giant, giant stain that covered all of his neck. So, when confronted by parents about this hickey, I told them I had spilled silver nitrate on my neck. I doubt they believed me, but I did had silver nitrate on my arm and hand still so I could point to those stains since they looked exactly alike. Just a little trip down memory lane.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Please

never forget that I love you. No matter how far away you are, or how long it’s been since we last spoke… I will always have a special place in my heart for you.

I love you, Scotch.

Posted 2 weeks ago

evanescen-t:

file under “movies to watch when feeling sad”

Cult classics

(Source: nevillles)

Posted 3 weeks ago

drn007:

octogetintherobot:

I have no idea who “Lucky” is nor why Daft Punk wants to get him so bad.

image

Posted 3 weeks ago
Posted 3 weeks ago
If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.
Alfred Tennyson (via observando)
Posted 3 weeks ago

whendoiturnbackintoapumpkin:

This guy’s walking down a street, when he falls in a hole.

The West Wing 2x10 ‘Noël’

One of the most uplifting stories.